Back to the drawing board ... or so it seems

Well since I last posted, much has has happened in the ongoing "constuction" process of my life. The relationship I have with my lovely wife has grown even stronger. My daughter is in her sophomore year in college and is doing well. My son had a terrific junior year of high school soccer. I've finished one awesome book and am in the prcoess of completing another. Both have challenged me to take my faith to a higher level than ever before. I finally bit the bullet and scheduled a day (Dec 21) to have my right hip replaced. Life has been moving along quite well, thank you very much. Or so I thought!

On November 21st, at the urging of my wife, I went to the ER to have my leg checked out. My suspicions were confirmed. I had multiple blood clots in my left leg. I admit my first response wasn't to "give" this over to God. A bit of fear, panic and disappointment set in. Over the next couple of days, the outpouring of support, concern, and prayers encouraged me and really lifted my spirits. I was released from the hospital on the 23rd and was able to enjoy Thanksgiving at our home. I will be on treatment for the clots for the next 6-9 months.

As a result of the clots, I have made the decision to postpone the surgery. It is now scheduled for February 21, 2011. This has been disappointing because my pain tolerance has reached its limits.

I confess, I am a worry wort. I feel this has been an area of my life that the Lord has really been working on and I feel I've made great strides. I had a setback the other night. Out of no where, I experienced a Panic Attack. For those of you who haven't experienced this, it is very scary. My heart started racing out of control. I could actually feel it beating in my head. I broke out into a cold sweat and literally felt like I was going to "stroke" out. I laid down and had the shakes and chills. I finally calmed down and it passed. Still, the past couple of days, I find myself constantly checking my pulse (much to the dismay of my wife, Kay). On one hand, I am working real hard to trust God, yet on the other hand, I find the worry and anxiousness taking control.

I share all of this because in our own power we are weak. God ask us in Matthew Chapter 6:27 "who of us by worrying can add a single hour to our life?" He tells us in John 16:33 that "in this world you will have trouble, but don't worry, I have overcome the world." I choose to take God for His word and will not be defeated even if I feel I've been taken back to the drawing board. God has begun a good work in me and He will complete it in His timing. Be encouraged, He will do the same for you!!

God Bless and Merry CHRISTmas.

BDE

Expect Delays Ahead

How many times have you been traveling down the highway cruising right along when you come across those dreaded "Expect Delays Ahead" signs? How have you responded? If your like me, you've probably expressed some version of "you have got to be kidding me."

Why do we respond this way? Well, it could be that we just like to go fast and don't want to have to slow down. It could be that we are running late (that's usually my case) and are trying to make up for lost time. Or, it could be that we just do not like being inconvenienced. Maybe it's because we can't control the situation. Whatever the reason, have we ever considered why there is a delay in the first place? Road repairs? Widing of the road? An overpass? Additional lanes? Whatever the reason, ultimately, these delays are for our own good. It most likely means that the improvement(s)being made will enable us to reach our destination in a more safe and effcient manner. Secondary benefits may include less wear and tear on our cars, less miles traveled, less stress, a more senic trip ...

As we travel down the highway of life, God will often place "Expect Delays Ahead" signs in our path. They may come in the form of an illness, a lost job, a broken relationship, the loss of a loved one... Whatever the form, I have learned and am still learning that ultimately these "delays" are for our own good. They are meant to draw us closer to our heavenly Father. They our meant to help us grow in our faith and obedience to Him. They are meant to help us get our priorities right. They are meant to help us making God honoring decisions. God desires to have a personal relationship with each and everyone of us. It is His desire that no one should perish but that all should have eternal life (See John 3:14.)

Next time we come across a "Expect Delays Ahead" sign, let's welcome it and embrace it because it ultimately is for our own good.

BDE

The Right Supplies

No matter how big or small a construction project may be (in my case, it's quite large), the right amount of and type of supplies are needed in order to complete the project correctly. Any deviation, can result in an array of issues.

As a kid growing up, I had several folks looking after me to ensure that I had what I needed. They included: my parents, relatives, neighbors, teachers, coaches etc. I often took it for granted that I would be provided with everything I needed. I would even get upset if I didn't get what I wanted. My parents were certainly wise in not "spoiling" me in this manner. This attitude changed as I grew older and became more self sufficient and less dependent on others to supply my needs. I have come to realize that I am not sufficient to supply all that I need and that others will often fall short in supplying my needs. Not because they are unable but because my expectations are too great. I still struggle at times with differentiating my needs verses my wants. This can be a source of great angst and anxiety. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE!

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Philippians 4:19 which says: And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. As a believer in Jesus Christ and His redeeming work on the cross for me, I can be confident that He will supply all that I need if I walk in obedience to Him. This doesn't mean that He will supply all that I want because He knows that might not be in my best interest. I can find comfort and peace in knowing that He promises to provide. With Christ, there are no deviations. This construction project, when complete, will be perfect because the supplies were exactly what was needed when they were needed.

BDE

Project Manager

Have you ever considered how important the Project Manager is to the construction process? They are is responsible for coordinating all aspects of the project. If something is needed or there is a problem, it's the project manager who gets the call. As we celebrate Father's Day today, I can't help but think that being a father is, in a sense, similar to that of being a Project Manager. My dad has played a significant role in shaping my life. He has taught me many things over the years. He helped me navigate the challenges of be a boy to becoming a man. He has provided me with words of wisdom and insights that he has gleaned over the years. He has shown me what commitment and hard work is all about. He has shown me what to means to sacrifice for the ones you love. He has never been to busy to spend time with me. He has always made it a point to attend and support my activities. He has loved me unconditionally. Like a project manager, he has been involved in all aspects of my construction. It is my desire, to be all these things for my children as well.

For those of you out there that have never experienced this kind of involvement from your earthly father, there is hope. Your Heavenly Father, ABBA - Daddy, desires to be intimately involved in all aspects of your life. He has a plan and purpose for you. He promises to always be with you. He promises to provide and protect you. He will love you unconditionally. All you have to do is acknowledge your need for HIM to be your personal Project Manager!

Happy Father's Day!!

Regular Inspections

In the construction process, there are timelines and phases. After the completion of one phase, an inspection is done before beginning the next phase. These inspections are done to ensure that the work being conducted is up to code. In other words, does it meet the standards set forth by the entity responsible for oversight.

Our lives are similar to the construction process. Our Heavenly Father provides us with timelines and phases in which He conducts inspections to ensure we are meeting the "standards" He has set before us. I am not talking about living a life full of do's and do not's but a life filled with the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, & self-control.

A little over a week ago, a high school classmate of mine sent me a message via Facebook that one of our classmates had passed away and another wasn't doing very well. This saddened me to read this bit it also caused me to reflect on the following question: If I knew when I was 18 years old that I would only live to be 50(which I will be at the end of the year) would I have lived my life any differently up to this point? Well, for me, the answer is a resounding YES. Some of the choices I made would obviously be different and I would have been much more SELFLESS than SELFISH. As I thought more about this, I realized that this was one of those "phases" in my life that God is using to ensure that I am being totally transformed in His image. God will use circumstances, situations, events, etc (inspections)to bring the need to change to our attention.

I can't change those years that are behind me but I can, with great anticipation, look forward to the years that lie ahead of me. As I move through each phase of my construction process, I can be confident in knowing that God will reveal to me (through regular inspections) the changes I need to make in my life to be more like Him.

When the construction is complete, I will hear my Lord and Savior say to me, "well done my good and faithful servant."

Architect & Blueprints

As a little boy growing up, I wanted to be/do lots of things. As a 5 year old, I used to look forward to trash pickup day so that I could follow the "garbage" men down the alley. I was going to be a "sanitation engineer" when I grew up. My parents even bought me a Tonka Toy garbage truck for Christmas. Well as the years went by my dreams changed and I pursued other opportunities. I was responsible for making it all happen. My success or lack thereof was up to me. As a Believer, I am told in scripture that God has a plan for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). This sounded great but did I really embrace this. The truth is NO. To embrace it would mean that God is in control and I would have to put God first. I was cruising right along. Living a comfortable life. Good job, a happy marriage, 2 wonderful kids and a cat. I gave God about 90% of me and the other 10% was all about me. That seemed okay, right? Well, God had other plans. About 8 months ago, I lost my job. I experienced all the usual emotions: disappointment, guilt, fear, anger, anxiety, and even depression. I did ask God(the Architect) why but never did lay the blame game on him. Instead, I chose to draw closer to Him. I spent more time in prayer. I opened up His word (the blueprints) to us and spent time reflecting on what it had to say. I often just remained quite and just listened. While He never spoke audibly to me, I did sense His presence. I have come to realize that He wants all of me not part of me. I've learned that His grace is sufficient. I have learned to trust and obey His promises (a very hard thing to do). These lessons are put to the test daily. I started a new job about 3 1/2 weeks ago. I really enjoy it but the decent income is a year or so down the road. We are at a crossroads in terms of some important financial decisions to be made that will impact my retirement plan. This would normally cause me to worry and fret. When this happens, I can become difficult to be around. Not fair for my wife and son. Anyway, I chose to put this in God's hand and trust Him. This morning's devotion was taken from Luke 12:22-32. Jesus instructs us not to worry and to seek Him first. Isn't just like God to know what I need and when I need it. I attended a funeral early today for my brother-in-laws father who passed away Friday. We were reminded to by the deacon who presided over the service to find our rest in Christ. Again, another affirmation that God doesn't want us to go it alone. When we feel our lives are under construction, let us remember to talk with architect and examine the blueprints.

Introduction

Hello and welcome to my blog. I am excited to begin this journey and to share it with you. I know that there will be some of you who will be be tempted to logout once you begin to read the contents and get a sense of what my perspective is. I ask that you not do so. I believe that you will find that we really do have more in common than you think. If you ever have traveled the West Virginia turnpike, you'll know that it seems to be always under construction. Oh, great progress is being made but there still is work to be done. I don't know about you, but that's how I view my life. As I approach the half century mark of my life, I have come to realize that God will often go to extremes to transform us into the likeness of his son, Jesus Christ. More about this in future posts.

Please don't expect posts that have great literary writing, proper grammar, deep intellectual thoughts or insights. Rather, what you can expect are posts that will be open, honest, and authentic. I will share my successes and my failures. I will share the good times and the disappointments. I will share from the experiences I've had and what I hope to experience in the future. It is my desire that as I encourage you, I too will be encouraged. Caution, construction ahead.