Well since I last posted, much has has happened in the ongoing "constuction" process of my life. The relationship I have with my lovely wife has grown even stronger. My daughter is in her sophomore year in college and is doing well. My son had a terrific junior year of high school soccer. I've finished one awesome book and am in the prcoess of completing another. Both have challenged me to take my faith to a higher level than ever before. I finally bit the bullet and scheduled a day (Dec 21) to have my right hip replaced. Life has been moving along quite well, thank you very much. Or so I thought!
On November 21st, at the urging of my wife, I went to the ER to have my leg checked out. My suspicions were confirmed. I had multiple blood clots in my left leg. I admit my first response wasn't to "give" this over to God. A bit of fear, panic and disappointment set in. Over the next couple of days, the outpouring of support, concern, and prayers encouraged me and really lifted my spirits. I was released from the hospital on the 23rd and was able to enjoy Thanksgiving at our home. I will be on treatment for the clots for the next 6-9 months.
As a result of the clots, I have made the decision to postpone the surgery. It is now scheduled for February 21, 2011. This has been disappointing because my pain tolerance has reached its limits.
I confess, I am a worry wort. I feel this has been an area of my life that the Lord has really been working on and I feel I've made great strides. I had a setback the other night. Out of no where, I experienced a Panic Attack. For those of you who haven't experienced this, it is very scary. My heart started racing out of control. I could actually feel it beating in my head. I broke out into a cold sweat and literally felt like I was going to "stroke" out. I laid down and had the shakes and chills. I finally calmed down and it passed. Still, the past couple of days, I find myself constantly checking my pulse (much to the dismay of my wife, Kay). On one hand, I am working real hard to trust God, yet on the other hand, I find the worry and anxiousness taking control.
I share all of this because in our own power we are weak. God ask us in Matthew Chapter 6:27 "who of us by worrying can add a single hour to our life?" He tells us in John 16:33 that "in this world you will have trouble, but don't worry, I have overcome the world." I choose to take God for His word and will not be defeated even if I feel I've been taken back to the drawing board. God has begun a good work in me and He will complete it in His timing. Be encouraged, He will do the same for you!!
God Bless and Merry CHRISTmas.
BDE
